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Losing 243 pounds made a big difference..... havin

Losing 243 pounds made a big difference..... having my skin removed was so exciting, keeping all the weight off for 18 years has also been empowering. The best thing I did, though, was heal my soul.
Don’t forget your soul. It won’t be silenced. Xoxoxo
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#keepbelieving #vsgtransformation #trustgod #dontstop #dontstopnow #extremeweightloss #sidebyside #beforeandafterweightloss #sidebyside #wlstransformation #youhavesuchaprettyface #homecomingqueenofcrazytown #fattofit #flabtofab #keepgoing #thereal
#girlchat
#facetoface #facetofacefriday
#redtabletalk #schoolofgreatness
#mindsetofgreatness #successcoach #dailyinspiration #happygirlsaretheprettiest #bossbabe #wlstories #believeinyourself

Healing from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse

Healing from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse is a lifelong journey. Just because the abuse ended, doesn’t mean the trauma left with it. Trauma is constant—it sits and it waits. It is tattooed on your soul and refuses to be ignored forever.

This picture represents the many moods survivors of abuse can experience. I have both good and great days. I also have some sad and difficult days. I have moments when I’m overwhelmed with the question of “Why me? Why was I born into a family where this occurred?” I could have been born into a million different families and yet this was the one God chose for me.

I’m blessed to have a small circle of friends who get it. On my darkest days they tell me that they love me precisely as I am. They encourage me, remind me that I survived for a reason, and that my purpose is important.

If you’re a survivor know that it is okay to have some sad days. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, angry, and cheated by life. It’s okay to grieve the innocence that was stolen from you. It’s okay if you’ve struggled. We’ve all fallen at some point and I promise that you are so much more than any mistakes you have made.

I know my survival was intentional and my healing came straight from the hand of God. I know there are millions of survivors who need to hear my story and know that if I made it out of the darkness, they can make it out too. There is light, joy, and love on the other side of suffering. If you’re looking for a reason to believe, a sign to let you know that you will be okay, this is it.

Hang on with all you have. Dark moments pass and the more you heal, the less those difficult days will haunt you. It does get better. Your best and most beautiful days are ahead of you.

I see you. I see your pain. You deserved better and your story matters. You are significant. If no one has told you today that they are happy you are on this earth, let me tell you: I’m so glad you’re here. You are not alone. I’m so thankful you survived. I stand with you and beside you. ❤️

Those who have experienced darkness understand how

Those who have experienced darkness understand how blinding it can be for others. I have experienced that darkness myself and that is why I fight for victims.

So many sit on the outside of genuine pain and stare at others—critiquing how they survive the darkness that has engulfed them.

If you haven’t walked through the valley, you have not earned the right to judge or criticize how one navigates the storm God has asked them to walk through.

Rather than judge those who are experiencing a nightmare you weren’t given to survive, count your blessings that you were excluded from the list of those who had to experience that particular hell. Show some gratitude by helping someone else.

Support people. Help someone who is struggling. Strong people lift others. If you’ve made it out of the darkness, shine your light for those who still can’t see beyond it.

Stop claiming to be a good person and start acting like one.

You can achieve anything you want to achieve. You

You can achieve anything you want to achieve. You can change your world, you can build a new existence.

There will always be those who want to rain on your parade. The possibility of you becoming everything you’re meant to be terrifies them, because it makes them focus on all the things they haven’t been able to change about themselves. Don’t let their negativity infiltrate your soul.

There are infinite ways to find your own way. Keep trying until you find the way that works best for you. It’s your life, don’t give up on it. Do everything in your power to make it a happy one.
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. #youhavesuchaprettyface #weightlossmotivation #weightlossinspiration #losingweightfeelinggreat #losingweight #losinginches #obesetobeast #flabtofab #effyourbeautystandards #vsgcommunity #rny #bariatricsurgery #fattofitjourney #extremeweightloss #beforeandafterweightloss #wlstransformation #wlstories #wls #looseskin #biggestloser #yougogirl #yougotthis #onmyway #sidebyside #honormycurves #weightlossresults #iamenough
#facetoface #obesetobeast

I’m posting this picture of myself when I weighe

I’m posting this picture of myself when I weighed 391 pounds because I’m honoring that woman. She is me.

It breaks my heart when I read other women’s posts saying they are ashamed of how big they once were, or that it is embarrassing to post their before pictures after they’ve lost the extra weight. I’ve heard people say about themselves, “Look at what a cow I was! I was huge!” Even worse are the posts of people apologizing for the fact they used to be morbidly obese. That truly saddens me and it also let’s me know how much that person still needs to heal.

After I lost 243 pounds 18 years ago, there may have been a time when I said those types of things about myself, but those days are long gone. I look at my before pictures and I see the sadness in my own eyes. I know how hard that woman was fighting in spite of all the pain she was in. I know how desperately she wanted to be happy and healthy and how she felt like that joy would forever elude her.

Still, she never gave up. She cried so many tears over people who weren’t worthy of her love. She just wanted to fit in—she wanted to belong, she wanted to be enough. Many times, people used her and took advantage of her kindness—and she was blind to it, all because she wanted to be loved.

I’ll tell you this though, that woman never gave up. She never quit trying. In spite of all the hate and discrimination thrown her way, she got up every day and did her best to survive.

I’ll be damned if I will disrespect the very woman who fought for me. I salute you. I applaud you. You will always be my hero for maintaining your grace the best way you knew how in a hostile world. You are far more beautiful than the woman I am today. I will honor you with all of the compassion and love in the world.
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This picture is the perfect example of social medi

This picture is the perfect example of social media BS.

I could post this and say, “When you’re at Coyote Ugly, you get on the bar and dance !” In fact, I have probably posted things like that a few years back. But the truth is this: Yes, I was at Coyote Ugly Bar a few years ago. A friend and I were there and we were walking around the city. It was about noon.

We walked into the bar to check it out, but it was closed for business. The waitresses were there practicing their dances and one of them came over and got us a Pepsi and a Sprite (see them in the corner).

This is a total photo op. There are steps and directions that lead right up to that spot so people can take pics. I wanted to do it, but I was scared. I didn’t even want to go up there in front of just the staff. I couldn’t imagine at night with a bar full of people.

I meekly climbed up there and the waitress saw me struggling, (because I had NO IDEA how to look like I’m dancing on a bar, much less loving it.) She jumped right up there and posed me—moved my arms, pushed in my knees, said “SUCK IN YOUR STOMACH AND SMILE!” She was actually still there, about 3 feet in front of me, in case I bombed it and needed more intervention. My friend on the floor was laughing at how awkward I was the entire time. But the pic came out believable.

My point is this..... the picture makes me look like I have a certain lifestyle and that it is exciting, fun, and amazing! For starters, I am not the kind of girl who would ever jump up on a bar and dance. I wish I had that kind of nerve and even more than that, I wish I could dance well enough to get up there. I can’t. Lol.

Don’t let the things you see on other people’s social media get you all worked up. Don’t feel less-than because you’re comparing your real life to someone else’s perfectly staged and posed photo opportunity.

I’m here for the ones who cry themselves to slee

I’m here for the ones who cry themselves to sleep, wake up sobbing in the middle of the night, and then in the morning, again, find themselves in tears. I know how painful that existence is, because I lived it for a long time.

I know how it feels to be isolated. I used to feel as if I was entirely alone and regardless of which way I reached, there was no one. I couldn’t escape that all-encompassing darkness and it was both terrifying and gut-wrenchingly painful.

I tried so hard to lose hope—to just give up and quit at life—because I just wanted the pain to end. I couldn’t do it, though, because there was always the tiniest voice whispering inside my soul, “Just believe—have faith. Someday, in spite of the fact you can’t imagine how, it will get better.” I’m not sure if I even believed it, but I clung to that hope with all I had.

Slowly, things began to improve and I found my way out of the darkness. So if you find yourself where I once was, if you’re in so much pain you don’t know how you will ever survive, hold on with all you have. You may feel alone in your current location, but I promise if you look closely, you will see my footprints. If I could escape and find peace, so can you.

God saved me for a reason and He reminds me constantly that my survival was intentional. I am still here today so that I can tell you that you will make it too. You will survive.

God has not missed a single one of your tears. Have faith. Hope rises to the top and gives us the courage and strength to continue on. Better days are coming. Allow the hope of my survival to illuminate your path until you believe again.
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#hopeful #havehope #youarenotalone #darknessintolight #spreadinglove #isurvived #havefaith #lifeadvice #traumarecovery #rapevictim #rapeculture #soberissexy #youcan #womeninspiringwomen #womensupportwomen #youcandothis #ibelieveinyou #hangon #kelleygunter #youhavesuchaprettyface #thankfulgratefulblessed #thankfulness #imadeit #lifeishard #brokenhearted #trustgod #healingjourney #itgetsbetter #youmatter #tellyourstory

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. #blackandwhitechallenge Spre

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
#blackandwhitechallenge

Spread LOVE.

@drninainc
@cincinnatitoxfox
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#justbeyou #justbe #justbeingme #justbecause #justsayin #justrelax #beyourbestself #beyoutiful #beyourownkindofbeautiful #beyourbestyou #beyourbest #kelleygunter #youhavesuchaprettyface #homecomingqueenofcrazytown #dailymotivation #dailyinspiration #prayerchangesthings #trustgodbro #trustgod #proverbs31woman #selflovejourney #bossbabetribe #findyourself #findyourtribe #yourebeautiful #youreworthit #youreamazing #extremeweightloss #youareenough

It’s strange how life hits you with lessons. Af

It’s strange how life hits you with lessons.

After earning a Masters degree in counseling and spending 27 years working as a professional, I realized that it wasn’t what I needed to learn that would save my life. It was everything I needed to unlearn that would allow me to heal and move forward.

My childhood was riddled with sexual abuse. The survival skills I used as a child became incredibly unhealthy coping skills as an adult. When I went into treatment 4 years ago, I had to break down each one of those and learn new, healthy ways of dealing with each part of my life. This sounds like it would be simple, but its not. Learning to allow myself to be vulnerable took hourly action on my part.

Every interaction I had with people I had to ask myself how I wanted to handle it. Did I want to be open and vulnerable and risk rejection or did I want to utilize life long patterns I had thought protected me? What those unhealthy coping skills did, though, was keep me from ever really developing any trust or genuinely expressing how I truly felt to anyone.

I’m referring to a lifetime of patterns that had to be analyzed, and for the most part, discarded. Then I had to incorporate my new methods of coping, which put my very fragile heart at risk every single time. I’m not talking about interacting with a romantic partner. I’m referring to every person I dealt with—friends, my family, professionals, anyone I interacted with on a regular basis. This was incredibly hard for me because I’d never done it.

I had to constantly deal with the nagging questions: What if they say something that hurts me? What if they reject me ? What if they’re mad? What if they don’t want to remain in my life? What if they don’t like the new me? At times it was agonizing.

But I wanted so desperately to be healthy and genuine. I wanted to be me—not an edited version of me. I wanted people to know my heart, my flaws, and I wanted to not only be accepted, but also encouraged to grow as I continued to unlearn the things that no longer served me. Unlearning became the most powerful learning experience of my life.

Are there things you need to unlearn?

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