I’m incredibly honored that my story was featured in this month’s issue of Recovery Today Magazine. The Editor-in-Chief, Rob Hannley, interviewed me for a feature story, and also did a video interview that is available in the digital version of the magazine. The link for both are included at the end of this blog. I’ve been interviewed many times about my story, but this discussion was different. Rob really wanted to explore the reason behind my addictions—he wanted to dig into the catalyst for a life of heartbreaking self-destruction and the healing journey that saved my life.
I believe that sometimes when our destiny comes calling, it shows up disguised as destruction. I can tell you when that demolition happens, destiny is the furthest thing from your mind. The definition of destruction is: the action or process of causing so much damage to something that it no longer exists or cannot be repaired. I certainly destroyed myself, my life, my world as I knew it, and everything I had ever held sacred.
I could use many words to describe the darkness that encapsulated me, but destiny wouldn’t be one of them. Surviving that nightmare would turn into a dark journey of my soul that lasted for over three years. Vacillating between trying to heal and begging to die was a constant battle and the thought of ever being happy again disappeared quickly. The powerful truth that I discovered, though, was this: It is in the darkness that we transform.
I had lived five decades and truly had no idea what my purpose was and to be honest, I didn’t really care—I never even gave it a thought. In spite of the fact my life had been spared on more than one occasion, I always tried to ignore the urging of God reminding me to tell my story. When you’re running from a pain you don’t discuss, you become rather adept at silencing the voice of your soul begging to be heard. One of the many truths I have discovered is that if you ignore God long enough, He will make you pay attention.
The fact I am here to share the events of my life is, in itself, a miracle. What I know to be true today is that beyond the shadow of a doubt, my survival was intentional. There are 82 million adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse in the United States alone, and I am one of them. Statistics from the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse state that 90% of victims of childhood sexual abuse have never disclosed that abuse to anyone. The shame that surrounds sexual abuse strangles the voice out of survivors, leaving them suffering in silence. That trauma, left unhealed, contributes to a lifetime of self-destruction, addiction and sometimes even death. I am telling my truth, my story of survival, my healing journey, to provide the light of hope for others who currently feel trapped in that darkness.
Read about my story in Recovery Daily Magazine. You can download the digital magazine here for FREE. The video interview is also included in the FREE digital download. Click here to download for FREE now.